FURTHER EVENTS AFTER DAKSHA YAJNA
DAAKSHAAYINI ENTERED FIRE
Alone!
Shiva went mad!
He cried!
He wept!
He rolled on the floor!
He kissed the objects that belonged to his dear wife.
Had he really renounced her in the mind?
How can he reject his own essence?
Had he fooled himself into believing that he was above love?
He did not understand!
He felt as if death had swallowed him.
He felt incomplete.
He felt angry at her.
He felt pity for her.
He felt like slapping her.
He felt like embracing her.
‘O O why did I love her!’ He screamed in agony.
Broken down, he closed his eyes in contemplation.
He was dead!
Dead to his duties!
Dead to the world!
Dead to his own eternal life!
Dead to his own self!
As dead as his beloved!
Would Daakshaa know of his agony?
Will she come back?
Will she make him alive again?
Devi was in deep thoughts.
As Daksha’s daughter, she had failed to become a proper spouse of Shiva.
She must do something.
She must try some other form.
She must approach him with dispassion.
She sat in contemplation of Shiva.
DAAKSHAAYINI ENTERED FIRE
Shiva was burning.
With passion!
With anger!
With Love!
DAKSHAA! DAKSHAA! His heart cried.
Without his soul he was dead.
His body was eternal!
He could not destroy his own existence.
Existence and eternality were curses for him now.
He just walked into deep jungles without any purpose.
He just wanted to get away from himself.
He did not even know where he was walking.
He never saw any thing.
Only the ‘face of Daakshaa as she took leave of him that day’ was pinned to his eyes.
He just walked.
Rocks that were on his path just crumbled to dust as he waded through them.
Rivers dried when his hot feet touched them.
Trees withered by his hot breath.
Wherever he walked the land turned into ashes.
Maybe that is why he is always worshipped as connected to ashes.
For him, except his DAAKSHAA everything else was just dust!
Somewhere he fell unconscious!
There was no sense of time or place.
An eternity passed.
He woke up.
His body had blackened by the heat of his heart.
He sat in lotus posture.
He closed his eyes which were anyhow blind to the world.
He vanished within himself.
His body cooled down like ice as if dead!
Creepers grew around him.
Snakes crawled over the rough texture of his body.
Birds built nest in his abundant hair.
Thorny creepers covered his entire body.
Trees grew all around him.
He was not aware of anything.
The world was dead for him.
Here world continued to exist.
Without Shiva the world lost its goodness too!
Evil selfish hearts took over the lands.
Without Shiva to control VAANI disappeared into her SATYA LOKA!
Brahma easily fell a prey to anyone who performed penance on him.
Gratified by their attention he gave boons to anyone without analyzing their characters.
And a clever demon named Taaraka guaranteed his own eternity by asking for death at the hands of SHIVA’s son! Since nobody even knew where Shiva was, he proclaimed himself deathless and harassed all Sages and Gods. Devaloka was in shambles.
DAAKSHAAYINI ENTERED FIRE
Naaraayana was also dejected. He was feeling very lonely.
Nowadays His spouse Lakshmi was highly absorbed in contemplation.
Maybe she missed the innocent chats of Daaksha!
She might have been annoyed with the whole of male community.
She showed her annoyance with her spouse too.
She was a gift that arose out of the milk ocean when the gods and demons churned the ocean.
Shiva had offered her to Vishnu.
She had been a devoted wife all her life, but she was not innocent to her Lord’s exploits.
Every decent girl in Deva Loka or Martya Loka desired to be His, and he obliged all of them; out of compassion he had said!
She was just too fed up! And now even Daakshaa had vanished out of her life!
Daaksha used to tell her all that her husband Shiva taught to her about Higher Truths!
Lakshmi started spending more time in contemplation on Brahman and left her spouse free for his adventures. Usually she entered deep into the ocean bowels and meditated on Brahman! She was praying to DEVI to end her identity as Vishnu’s spouse!
DAAKSHAAYINI ENTERED FIRE
Devi descended on Earth!
She became the daughter of the chief of mountain tribes, Himavaan!
As a child she had heard the myth of a God who was somewhere buried in those forests.
An abnormal fascination rose in her from her childhood itself to meet that terrifying God who had left the world when his wife had entered the fire!
What a love! What a man!
Daakshaa was a fortunate girl. But she threw away her fortunes when she destroyed herself in the fire! Unlucky girl!
What if she could replace Daakshaa and light up the world of Shiva? She had high ambitions indeed!
And to fulfill her cherished dream she performed penance!
Penance!
Till now no Sage or God had gone to such extreme limits of penance!
Everyone who observed her only exclaimed –Uuuuu MAAA! OH DON’T! Her name itself became UMA!
As she roamed in the mountains searching for the mythical Shiva, she was called Paarvati.
As the fair-hued beauty, she was called GOWRI!
And she performed penance! Under icy waters! Inside fiery fires! In forests, in mountains!
She survived on only leaves. But later she stopped even that and took only air as her food.
She was called APARNAA too!
She sat; she stood up; then she stood on one leg!
Her only speech was the name of Shiva!
Her body had withered and looked like a skeleton!
Her eyes were sunk!
Her hands continuously made little Lingas from river sand which filled the entire mansion of her father!
Her body had blackened by applying hot ashes all over her body!
Her fair body was now black in hue and people called her KAALI!
DAAKSHAAYINI ENTERED FIRE
Uma was burning in the penance of Shiva!
She took hot ashes from the sacred fire altar at the worship ground of Shiva and applied it all over her fair body. As hot ashes burnt her limbs, she felt the pain Daakshaa had felt! She imagined herself to be Daakshaa and cried for Shiva!
Now after years of penance, her body had succumbed to the hardships!
Ashes spread all over the floor of her dark room. River sand was piled in all corners. She untiringly made Lingas out of sand as her dried mouth whispered her lover’s name unceasingly.
She knew her body will not last long. She felt faint. She had stopped eating food long ago. Not even a drop of water entered her scorched throat.
There was no hope of ever attaining her Lord! Like Daaksha she would also give up her body in fire, she thought! But she should not die here in her father’s place like Daakshaa! She will reach the deeper sections of the mountains where her Lord was supposed to be buried!
She sent all the maids away with a signal from her eyes. With stumbling gait, with her heart heaving in heavy breaths, she slowly treaded the mountain paths alone.
Her hair was whitened by ashes. At some places the scalp revealed burnt scars caused by the application hot ashes. Her face had blackened here and there by the sparks of hot embers of the fire altar. Her ashy grey cloth hardly was able to hold on to her skeletal structure.
Like a ‘Dead Daakshaayini’ coming out of the Sacrificial altar, she slowly walked towards the mountains.
She wanted to give up her life somewhere inside the mountain forests. That is where Her Lord must be, she thought! Better die where he existed, than at the grand palace of her father! Her father had no control over his adamant daughter and had left her to do what she willed. But he least suspected that she would want to end up her life in the forest today.
After a long time of tedious walk, Uma reached very dark, hitherto unseen parts of the forest; more out of will power than by mere physical strength!
Thorny bushes spread all over.
Giant snakes hung from huge branches.
Some water-hole gleamed far away below the hills.
A musty smell filled the whole atmosphere.
Uma decided that it was a good place to give up her body!
Who knows, her Lord might be buried somewhere here only.
She glanced around to see whether any dry sticks were available for making fire!
The blackened burnt body was slowly collecting wood to make a fire!
The place was full of giant thorns.
As she pulled out sticks here and there, her body bled all over, making her appearance more grotesque!
A sudden prick in the eyes! Her eyes were blood holes!
Blinded, exhausted, but adamant in her desire to end her life in a fire, she pulled the sticks hard!
The force pushed her back!
There was a yawning pit where she fell.
She dropped deep down and fell on a hard rock under ground!
Snakes crawled away in alarm at the sudden falling of a body.
Uma’s head reeled. Her mouth was whispering her lord’s name as she fainted!
DAAKSHAAYINI ENTERED FIRE
Shiva suddenly woke up out of his penance with a jerk.
His Daakshaa had come back!
She was calling!
She was very near!
Yes! She was chanting his name!
He opened his eyes!
On his lap was a blackened mass of a skeleton!
His Daakshaa!
He took the senseless body to his bosom!
And he showered kisses on his ‘burnt Daakshaa’!
Uma opened her red eyes.
Her heart recognized her Lord!
She embraced him tightly!
All the pent up passion of Shiva burst out like a volcano!
He was mad now! Utterly mad!
He gave vent to all his hidden desires on his ‘burnt Daakshaa’!
MY Daakshaa! MY Daakshaa! His heart cried!
He went mad in passion!
Uma could do nothing but to succumb to his passion!
But she was only Uma! Not Daakshaa!
She felt she was burning in fire!
Every atom in her body screamed in pain!
She was getting embraced by fire; kissed by Fire; made love by fire! She was getting bathed in fire!
She who had performed extreme penance which no one had dared so far; she, the renowned devotee of Shiva now screamed in pain unable to bear the embrace of FIRE!
She was not Daakshaa! She was just Uma!
Her screams rent the air! Shiva heard it too! Shiva stopped midway in his love!
He looked at the blackened body on his lap!
He realized suddenly! This worthless mass of flesh was not his Daakshaa! He threw her away in disgust!
Then why did he falter? What made him so passionate suddenly?
He felt another presence! Kaama Deva, who was waiting for an opportunity to induce passion in Shiva, was running away, his job done!
Rudra’s fire of anger reached him too! Not even ashes were left of his body to tell his name!
Shiva looked at the female form which was withering at his feet! He kicked it away and walked.
No one knew where he went!
DAAKSHAAYINI ENTERED FIRE
Uma was burning!
She was screaming!
Something hard kicked her away.
She rolled down the hills.
She fell into something cool!
The Sharavana Lake! The forest pond surrounded by sharp arrow like grasses!
Her outside body was bleeding profusely by getting cut by the sharp forest grass.
Inside her body, a fire was burning converting all her internal organs to ashes!
Screaming incessantly, she fainted!
She was unconscious for maybe an eternity!
A baby made of fire, smiled enchantingly at the six divine damsels who were watching it like a wonder unseen in their lives. They were the six Krittikaa Devis who had been playing in the forest ground when they heard a baby’s laughter and they had arrived at this lake searching for the source of the sound. They found out that the baby was alone! Father and mother were not around anywhere! The baby was so enchantingly beautiful! A Thousand Petaled Lotus rocked the baby gently. The baby lifted its arms towards them asking as if to lift it away from the waters. All the six girls rushed towards the baby! The fire which was smiling like a baby broke into six pieces. Each one held a baby in her hand! They started playing with the fire!
Uma woke up!
The inner fire seemed to have disappeared!
The cool waters had healed her wounds!
She slowly got out of the waters and climbed the shores.
And she saw the six girls with six babies!
Looking at the baby, her breasts poured out milk unknown to her!
Understanding nothing, but only feeling that the baby was hers, she rushed towards them.
Seeing a blackened skeleton coming out of the lake, the girls screamed, left the babies on the bank and ran away!
Paarvati saw the babies.
No! She saw fire!
Her Lord’s fire!
A beautiful fire!
The fire smiled at her1
She was so greedy for the fire that she gathered all the pieces of fire into her withered arms!
As milk from her motherly breasts bathed the little fire, it cooled down and embraced her tightly as one little darling golden hued baby!
Uma cried!
She had lost the big fire! That fire will never come back!
But this little fire! It was hers!
She embraced her little Shiva, as a mother!
She knew she will be not a wife anymore!
Gods came with their retinue.
Brahma and Vishnu took her to heavens!
They all took care of her.
The child became an expert in all weapons!
He killed the demon!
All Gods were happy!
Uma was happy too as a MOTHER!
Kaartikeya grew up!
He only knew his Mother!
She used to point out far into the mountains and say his father was there!
Seeing her eyes becoming wet whenever he mentioned his father, Kumara learnt to forget his father!
A unique bondage grew between him and his lonely mother!
Kumara mastered whatever knowledge was available in all the three worlds!
He was helped by Vaani in all learning.
Disgusted with stupid Brahmas, Vaani became a good friend of Kumara!
Under her influence Kumara mastered all the arts.
He became an expert in playing Veena!
His missile store started gathering dust!
Gods were not happy by this musical orchestra of Vaani and Kumara!
They got him a good wife Devayaani and made him the chief of their army.
Kumara did his duty very well but was tired of his palatial obligations.
Devayaani was not up to his intellectual level.
He made an agreement with Naaraayana and descended down to Earth at will, in many disguises and taught the humans some Self- knowledge.
Once on his Earth wanderings, he happened to see a forest beauty!
Enamored by her simple beauty, he wooed her and married her.
But she was too simple and illiterate to suit the heavens.
His two wives fought a lot and he learnt to hide in Satya Loka away from his ignorant wives.
Vaani became his constant companion in Satya Loka!
Uma was lonely.
Even Kumara was not available nowadays! He never informed her about his whereabouts.
However the three worlds kept her busy.
She was accepted unanimously by all Gods as the Supreme Queen. She was consulted by everyone about everything. She was too compassionate and paid attention to every problem personally. She was the Great Mother of Kumara and the Great wife of the Supreme God Shiva! Who else could rule them all, but Uma!
But in her inner chambers, she withered in loneliness. Her suffering was unbearable. She longed for her husband’s company. But her inner heart knew it was never ever possible.
Even now, she vividly remembered the disgusting look of her Lord in the forest. After the incident of Kumara’s birth, she never saw him again. She did not even know where he was! Kumara had been her only solace. Now after marriage with the two unintelligent girls he was never seen anywhere.
The two girls had complained about Kumara’s neglect, but what could she do? She had her own problems in her married life!
Uma was lonely.
Uma was at the edge of loneliness.
She longed for Shiva’s company.
She was burning in passion.
The garden breeze was cool!
But she was sweating profusely.
She sought the altar of Linga, the only symbol of her husband!
The whole place was spread out with ashes.
She cried embracing the stone Shiva!
Her tears and sweat mingled with the ashes.
She prayed for some company, some one to love only her!
As her dried up lips chanted her Lord’s name incessantly, the wet ash stood in her front as a little child!
She felt tender hands embracing her neck.
She felt a cool shower on her face. She opened her wet eyes.
A beautiful child of tender age was showering kisses on her face.
He was continuously addressing her as ‘MA’ ‘MA’!
He was tightly holding on to her neck.
At his sight Uma’s motherly breasts showered him with milk.
A son, just for her! She embraced him tightly to her bosom.
Tears flowed in torrents. She cried all her heart out.
She put that child on her lap and told him all her troubles. The child nodded understandingly.
The boy spoke in his baby voice that he will never leave her alone anymore. He will not even grow up like Kumara and marry. In fact he will never ever marry!
Uma embraced him once again. The golden hued child cuddled inside her arms and laughed.
Uma also laughed. The flowers in the garden laughed too!
Shiva stirred from his seat!
As if his Daakshaa had called!
No, not from outside! In his mind!
He remembered the black bleeding body he had kissed long back!
A sudden compassion flooded his heart for that innocent girl!
What was her fault? Both had been victims of the God world plot.
And he wondered what happened to his Veerya? A son should be there now!
He sighed and decided to visit his new family. He walked towards the heavens!
He was in deep thoughts as his feet unconsciously tread the familiar hill paths.
His Daakshaa’s memory hit him like arrows wherever he looked.
He felt like turning back and going away to his dark forests.
But he could not disobey his Daakshaa’s words.
She had appeared in his mind.
She had embraced him like a mother.
He had collapsed on her soft shoulders and cried his heart out.
Exhausted he had slept on her lap.
She had spoken softly, as she caressed his unkempt brown hair.
She had reminded him of his duties.
He should meet his son and give him all the knowledge he possessed!
She will wait for him till he finished his duties and returned.
She promised. She will never ever leave him any more.
He had agreed reluctantly.
He opened his eyes to the ‘Daakshaa-less’ world!
As Shiva entered his own abode, a child stopped him! His son? No! This child was different! Arrogant and fat! Shiva had no patience with stupid people even if they were children! His trident cut off the intruder’s little head! Uma came rushing out at the noise. She saw her estranged husband and the headless body of her little child. She screamed! It was not the cry of joy coming from the mouth of a devoted wife at the sight of a long-lost husband. Uma was screaming for her headless son! She shouted, lamented and wept in front of the Great God, who had visited her after such a long time.
Uma had committed her second mistake!
So habituated to be a mother to her two children, the wife-part in her had died out! She did not embrace the Lord of her heart for whom she had spent all her youthful years in penance! Shiva felt a wave of disgust sweep through his heart. He did not speak much. He got the child’s head replaced by an elephant baby’s head. The child was alive. The elephant-headed boy ran towards his dear mother and cried on her bosom.
Uma was angry; she glared at her husband. ‘A beautiful child made grotesque like this; her child would be ridiculed everywhere’. Shiva understood her agony. He remembered Naaraayana. Vishnu arrived there instantly with his son Brahma. Shiva told him that this elephant-headed child would be worshipped in all the three worlds as the First God. He proclaimed that no worship will bestow the appropriate results without offering the first worship to this child. He gifted Supreme Powers to the child and vanished.
The dear child of hers ran away happily towards the garden to play.
Uma slowly came out of her depressed state.
She suddenly remembered Shiva.
She looked here and there for him.
She searched the entire garden belonging to the mansion.
No! Shiva was not there! He was gone!
The whole world looked empty to her.
Uma collapsed on the ground crying.
Her cries of agony echoed everywhere in the heavenly garden.
Uma felt lost as if in a forlorn desert!
Kumara heard about the visit of his father! He regretted missing his visit. He had so much to confide in his father. He needed a shoulder to cry. His wives were a constant agony to him. Their ignorance pricked him like thorns. He looked at the direction where his father had disappeared. His eyes were wet!
Maha Lakshmi performed penance on Devi and returned to her ‘Source Essence’! From GoLoka, Raadhika Rani arrived to meet Naaraayana at his command. Vishnu requested her to take the post of his wife in Vaikunta. Radha was shocked. Her Kaanha can’t be this robust crowned God lolling on a huge snake bed.
She fell at his feet and confessed her inability to become his wife. She was absorbed into his Self at her request. Vishnu closed his eyes in sheer frustration.
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